A New Norm

I could start this off by lamenting about how long it has been since I have updated here, how busy I have been, and woe is me'ing about where to begin writing. Instead of making all these excuses, I will just start writing.

Back in the summer, shortly after taking up running, and training towards my goal, Jamie and I had "the talk"and decided that it was time to increase our family in one of two ways, either a puppy or a baby. Since I had been dropping not so subtle hints that I really wanted to have another baby sooner then later, and I'm more a cat person then a dog person, it was fairly obvious as to which option I chose.

By October, we were pregnant, excited and had our first appointment set up and ready, the next day, a Saturday, the cramps started. We tried keeping things as normal for Anna as possible, picking out our pumpkins from a local church, like we do every year, taking pictures, and with me trying not to be too scared about how sharp the cramps were. I was only 6 weeks along, and remembered having fairly strong cramps with Anna, with implantation, but didn't remember them feeling quite like this. After the pumpkin patch, home we went, I lay down for a nap that afternoon, and lost the baby/fetus/embryo take your pick 4 hours later. I went through my grief, wondering where I went wrong, and Monday went in for an ultrasound to make sure everything was gone. My normal Dr was out, and today I can see why things happened as they did, my Dr's replacement saw me, and we clicked instantly. She was warm, caring, vibrant, funny, empathetic, and understanding. She reassured me that miscarriages are normal, and even common, and helped me understand that it was nothing that I had done; Not my running, or anything else.

A month later, we started to try again, and my Mom's birthday present that year, Dec 7, was a positive pregnancy pee stick picture. Try saying that 5 times fast. She was overjoyed, and a couple weeks later she could congratulate us in person, as the 3 of us went up to BC for the Christmas holidays.

We spent part of the trip with Mom,then the other half up visiting Dad. Anna got to have her very first snowy adventure, and Jamie, his first white Christmas, despite the fact the snow had all but melted by Christmas day. It was a fabulous trip, with lots of family, and food, though a distinct lack of alcohol consumption on my part.

With hormones in full pregnancy glory, and the brain cells starting to deteriorate with the onslaught of " mommy brain" we decided to get a puppy in February. We didn't get just any puppy either, we got a puppy who would grow to be roughly the same size as Anna within a month, and double her weight within 6 months. We got a puppy who would be a companion, a buddy, a walking motivation, (until the heat index hit the 105 mark anyways), and Anna's future best friend.

Bear, or Fluffy Bear if your name is Anna, is currently 10 months and 70 lbs or Rottweiler crossed with Black Lab crossed with who knows what else. He routinely chews on cords if they are left dangling, has made 3 holes in our carpet to date, eaten 5 loaves of bread, 3 different nights thawing meat, 2 bags of hot dog buns and a plate of cookies. We won't mention the chunks taken out of the coffee table, or the upper teeth marks on the ledge of his favorite window he sits at to watch the yard and any feathered or furry intruders.

He is a wonderful friend to Anna, and has the utmost patience for all the crap Anna puts him through. She lays on him, grabs his neck, and pretty much any other abuse a 4yr old could think of doing. He dotes on her, goes down her slide with him, plays tag in the back yard with him, and loves to be wherever she is. We couldn't have asked for a better dog for her, as much as he drives me insane.

So here we were, with a 3 month old puppy, and me 3 months pregnant, and not having the slightest clue what I was in for in the coming days, weeks and months.

Running for the goal

So I took up running. I always enjoyed walking, but felt like could do more. After watching my step dad, Mom and sister running, and hearing all about Bob , my step dad, finishing the Boston Marathon, my mom telling me how great she felt with running, and my sister being super fit.. I was finally inspired to try it after I returned home from visiting there this past summer.

I started off already working out lightly, and watching what I ate, so decided to just jump right in. I did research on the internet, on how to learn to run, and learned all about interval training.. basically mixing running with walking. My ultimate goal is to be able to run during the Relay For Life this coming summer.

I found a program that I liked, that got me running sooner, and would be easy to remember when to switch up running and walking.. then I loaded Anna up in the stroller and out I went. That first week, was walk for a minute, then run for a minute, 7 times, for a total of 14 minutes. By the ime I hit the 5th or 6th time, I was wondering why I was doing this. I did it 3 times that week, and by the third run, it was a bit easier, so I moved to the second week when it came around, walk 1 minute, run 2 minutes five times.

I am working on Week 10, walk one run 10, and this is my 11th week doing it. I have felt my body strengthen, my lungs be capable of carrying me through my runs. From smoking 11 years, quitting for 3 and now running maybe they will forgive me for all the abuse I gave them. Today was my first day of running for 10 minutes straight, but I wanted to try something a bit different, and go for two sets of 20 minutes, and I was able to do it! I am a whole lot sweatier then normal, but the feeling of accomplishment, combined with the super endorphins, is incredible!

I never thought I would be a runner, it is a lot of work and a lot of alone time. I worry when I become pregnant next time that I will take the easy way out and just not go, because I need to rest, or just don't feel like it, but hopefully, if I can continue running as long as I can, that it will be so ingrained, that I won't have any other way to do it but go.

Bits and pieces

It's been quite a long time since I have updated this, especially with how things are going. I was in BC for 5 weeks, have taken up running, and Anna has already started school again.

So first off, the trip back home. i went up, with the intention of staying through the last weeks of one of my favorite Aunts, to see her again before she passed from liver cancer. She had been progressively getting worse, and had slipped into a coma in the couple days prior to my leaving. I got the call that she passed away an hour before I was due to get up to go to the airport for our trip, about 2am. It was a long day, holding in my grief, running on next to no sleep, while taking a 3 yr old through 3 layovers/plane changes and a 12 hour travelling day by myself. We did great up until waiting in Vancouver, where we both melted down, had a cry, then a donut.

It was a long trip, with a lot of emotions going on, but we had a wonderful visit with all of our family, getting time to go to Prince George top see Dad and Laura, as well as staying in Vernon and seeing all of the family in the area there. The funeral was beautiful and emotional, she would have approved.

I also started running after I got back last month, and am currently working on my 6th week of it. I am following an interval running program that is designed to get me ready for a 5k, not that I have any idea where ne could be around here or when, but it wil l get me ready for one. I love it though, I love the feeling of my runners on the pavement, listening to my my music, feeling the sweat pouring off me. I can breathe easier each week, as I push myself, and my emotional health has increased tenfold. I feel wonderful afterwards, happy, optimistic, and that life will be okay, despite how hard things have been.

Anna was coming with me during my runs, making it all the more hard while I pushed her in her stroller, but now that pre schoolhas started, and shes in 3 days a week, I can drop her off and go to the track down the road before coming back home. It's very convenient.

She is enjoying school already, today is her second day, and we are now "upstairs' in the big kids class. The kids this year are encouraged to invite their friends to birthday parties and playdates outside of class. I am nervous about this, worrying about what if noone invites her to anything, what iud someone does invite her, whats the etiquette, do I reciprocate? A million things to worry about, to think about, to deal with another day.

Still loving eggs

My little egg lover

My eggstra special eggstrordinairy egg loving kid.

Some more of the room

Here is some more of the room

New bedroom

Anna's new bedroom, courtesy of Oma and Auntie Katie!